Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
