I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
