Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
