The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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