but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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