I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
