Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
