i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
