It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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