I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
