i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
