Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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