No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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