It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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