Dude my mom stole all your condoms
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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