Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize