her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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