Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
