THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
