I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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