just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
