lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
