she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
