dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
