would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize