I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
