do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
