Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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