come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
