I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
