If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
