dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize