do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
