just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I need to calm my uterus...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize