guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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