i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
