Non-Jews are for practice
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
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