How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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