Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
it glows. i had to have it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
