I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
