A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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