stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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