So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
