omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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