i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
