I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
