best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
