You're completely useless in the revolution.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
