your room smells of hookers.
And success
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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