i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
