Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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