I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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