my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
