something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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