Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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