do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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