..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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